Those 3:03am Notes

So this is a continuation of my previous post… Yes, the one where i tell you about my heart-ache and the love story that changed my life…



It’s 3:03am.



I got home from a party at around 1am. And could not sleep…



Been looking forward to the party the whole week because it meant that i would spend time with some folks who i like spending time with and one of the best pieces of advice for any new singleton is to “never refuse an invitation”…



Although i’ve been a bit fluey this week, i still plucked up the courage to head out to the party.



The evening was fun. Nice seeing everyone, catching up with some friends, discussing this and that and the other with others, talking about ‘him’ with a mutual friend… Only to be yet again reminded about ‘that other guy he’s now hanging out with’…



Yes, that other guy, who i refer to slightly less kindly as “that motherfucking home-wrecking cunt”… Leo-Jan de Beer.



Oops… I mentioned his name…



But why do i care? Why do i care about this guy who i believe is one of the main reasons why my relationship failed.



So i get home, and i cant sleep… And i start writing this to get it out of my mind.



Look, our relationship failed. You fell out of love, and have to accept that.



But did you really have to go jump into the arms of the next available thing?



Why didnt you just have the balls to say “i dont love you anymore”?



Why was it so engineered on your part…?



But then again, i’m done with asking questions. I shouldnt ask anymore.



The answers i might never know. And sometimes its better not to know the truth…



So i write about it to try and forget about it…



It’s kind of ironic… I etch it down on paper (well, my ipad) and publish these notes on the internet sending them into public domain…to help me forget. Weird, innit?



Hopefully someone will take something from this and learn from our mistakes…



Learn from our lessons in love… My lesson in true love.



I have to accept it though.



But i’ve told you before, i love you. I always have, and i always will. And for a long time from now i will always have your back and be curious about you… About your life, your career, your whereabouts…



Because too many songs remind me of you…

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