Reason, Season, Lifetime

Every once in a while, we meet people. People we connect with. Form friendships with. Share experiences with. Share stories with and create memories with.

Photos end up on social media. On my fridge. On my staircase wall.

Cherished moments.

But then, like most things in life, sometimes these friendships come - unbeknownst to us – with expiry dates.

I was a little apprehensive about writing this story, but again, like many of my blog posts before, so many people can relate to them. So, here I am, telling another personal story.

One of the most insightful things I’ve learned is that the saying “People come into your life for a reason, season or lifetime” is nothing but the truth.

In recent months I’ve allowed new people into my life.

I’ve shared experiences with them, created memories with them and when the time came, I graciously allowed them to exit my life when their purpose was served.

One of the things that I questioned often though was, why has this happened three, four, five times in the last few months… and while I was searching for the answer, it revealed itself without me looking too hard.

What I realized was - we come into people’s lives – or allow people into ours - and there are always lessons to be learned from these interactions, but what finally brought my mind to ease was when I realized that these lessons weren’t necessarily always MINE to learn.

Just like I am learning lessons, the universe sends me into other people’s lives for them to learn lessons too. Lessons that I might teach them in one way or another.

And when you think about it like that, you stop asking questions.

You stop wondering why you offered so much. Why you made yourself vulnerable. Why you opened your heart a bit. Why you wanted to make friendships work. And why you have the ability to just move on.

But then, just like that – the questions are gone.

Like I said, most things come with an expiry date.

And when things no longer serve you, have enough self-respect to let things go, gracefully.

Not everyone can be your friend. Not everyone will always like you. Not everyone will agree with you and not everyone will have your best interest at heart.

One or two of the people I let go in recent months, had very definite ulterior motives.

For the first time ever, I felt used.

It was like they tried to be my friend solely for their personal gain.

Sadly, when people betray you, lie to you, fabricate fictitious stories about you, gossip about you and deceive you, you know that they are NOT your friends.

My friends don’t do any of those things.

I have a very close-knit group of friends. Friendships dating back 10 years, 15 years and even 20 years… And these friendships last because there is mutual respect, I learn from them, we’ve all grown and evolved together but never did we treat each other in an undignified manner.

I’m very grateful for these REAL friendships in my life.

And then there are those friends who you will always have connections with but might not see all the time.  

People you might see maybe every two, three months. Maybe once, twice a year. But when you are together, you pick up right where you left off.

You don’t feel guilty for not calling. And you don’t expect them to call you. But when you do or they do – it’s always appreciated.

Small things matter – and when you can honestly appreciate the lessons learned, you’ve reached a state of mind where no matter what, the world cant touch you.

One thing is certain: like the wind from the east brings new seasons, friendships will come and go. Those who come to teach us something go. But those who matter, stay. And we learn from them even more.

To those who didn’t make it through to the second round, I thank you for the lessons you allowed me to learn.

With dignity and respect, farewell.

To those who’ve stayed and who are still around, I love you, I respect you and I cherish you. Thank you for being my friend.

Love always,
LS xxx